Kagome, Kagome
by Kirityu Ryukaro
Summary: Based off the vocaloid song Kagome, Kagome. Midoriya is quirkless. No one wants him. His mother abandons him in an orphanage in the middle of a forest. Shinsou hates his life. He hates his quirk. He hates how he's forgetting his own name. He hates how he's starting to forget who he is. This is a ShinDeku fic. And there is blood, gore, craziness, mental illnesses, Self Harm etc
1. Chapter 1 - In an abandoned building

"Mom? Where are we going?"

Inko dragged a nine year old Midoriya by the arm, leading him into the car.

"Just stay silent, brat."

Inko slammed the door shut, before she entered the car and started the engine.

The entire car ride was silent, until Midoriya noticed of the street signs as he looked out the window.

"Are we… going to another hospital?" Midoriya asked, heart sinking, "A quirk doctor?"

"No we aren't. Just shut up." Inko snapped, as she stomped on the accelerator.

They passed by the hospital, and Midoriya tensed up as his mother drove into a forest.

"Mom? Where are we going -"

"I said shut up!" Inko snapped, and Midoriya flinched, and covered his mouth, watching Inko drive deeper and deeper into the forest, where the foliage became so thick that he could not see the sky under all the leaves. The car smacked into tree branches, ran over roots, and given that Inko was checking her phone every other minute, Midoriya deduced that there wasn't actually a road.

Inko dug her foot harshly into the breaks, and the car screeched to a halt. She exited the car, and literally dragged Midoriya out of the car and into a dilapidated looking building. Midoriya turned around, and was horrified that he couldn't even see through the mess of trees and branches behind the car.

"Hello. Forest Green Orphanage here. How can we help you?" A man smoking a cigar lazily addressed them, and Inko just tugged on Midoriya's arm harshly. He fell over, hitting the counter, and rubbed his head where it had made contact.

"Midoriya Inko here. Are all the papers ready?"

"Uh… hold on a second." The man bent down, dug into the drawers, and pulled out a few crumpled looking sheets of paper, "Uh.. Midoriya Izuku, nine, male, quirkless."

Inko nodded, and he handed over the few pieces of paper for her to sign.

Midoriya then just registered what was going on.

"Mom?! What is going on?"

Inko just signed the papers, and left the room through the entrance, not even saying a single word to him as he heard the engines start up.

"Mom!? Where are you going!?" Midoriya yelped, as he pushed himself to his feet and scrambled for the door, as the man grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

"Kid, stop struggling." He growled, but Midoriya thrashed in his grasp, accidentally kicking the man in the shin in an attempt to free himself.

"Ow! Dammit brat!" The man just grabbed Midoriya's arm, and twisted it uncomfortably behind him back. Midoriya shrieked in his panic, but the man just pinned him to the ground harshly.

"Look, brat," He spat, "I'm not being paid to ensure you come in uninjured. I just need to toss you in alive. So you either cooperate, and you can get to your room quickly, or you can try and struggle and I'll just snap your arms off."

"But, Mom!" Midoriya cried out, struggling, but the man just stomped on his back harshly, "She doesn't want you anymore. No one wants you anymore. That's why you're here."

"She…. doesn't want me?"

Midoriya was shocked into a stunned silence, and he froze. The man dragged him to his feet, "At least you're more cooperative now."

The man dragged Midoriya through the hallways, as children of all ages popped out of the rooms located by the corridors to look at the commotion.

Midoriya just let the man drag him along, not knowing what or how to react to anything anymore.

_She… doesn't want me anymore?_

_She doesn't love me anymore?_

He no longer cared. His father hated him. Bakugou was nice to him until he was declared quirkless. For five years, the only person who loved him, who was actually nice to him, was his mother.

And now, she didn't want him anymore.

The man kept dragging him along, past several hallways and corridors, winding through the maze of walls and doors until Midoriya got dizzy trying to recall if they had gone left or right. The lights grew dimmer, and started flickering ominously, like the bulbs were close to going out and no one had bothered to fix or replace them. The sounds of children screaming and laughing became softer, until they died out all together.

The silence around them was deafening, and Midoriya could hear the faint sounds of dripping water through a leaky roof.

Midoriya mutely noted that they hadn't seen a single child for the past few minutes.

"Why... why is there no one... here?" Midoriya asked, bleakly realising that he would spend the rest of his life here. He no longer remembered the route his mother took to get there, and in such a dense forest, there was no way he's be able to escape, not to mention that there may be wild animals or other predators that no doubtedly would strike on a defenseless child.

"There are kids here." The man replied in a bored tone. "All the weird kids are here. The ones with horrible or villainous quirks, the disabled ones, just those that are undesirable with no chance at all of getting adopted. Basically, all the ones that no one wants."

Midoriya gulped.

_But it's true... right? No one wants a quirkless child. No one wants a useless or utter waste of space. Kacchan is right. I'm better off here where I won't bother anyone anymore._

Midoriya barely even registered that they had stopped at the end of the hallway until he literally walked into the man who was grabbing him by the wrist. Moss and mould was growing on the walls, and there was a puddle of water in the corner that had water constantly dripping into it.

"You're staying with this kid. We call him Kansei. His quirk allows him to brainwash anyone that speaks to him." The man growled, and flung open the door.

There was a room with two tables and two beds.

But the first thing he registered was a boy with purple hair, a muzzle strapped to his face. His eyes were burning with anger, a bloody knife in hand, as he dragged it along his left forearm, blood dripping to the ground.

Midoriya let out a gasp in shock, and the boy whirled around, and growled at both him and the man, brandishing the blade at them threateningly. He growled, unable to speak due to the muzzle, as blood dripped off the multiple cuts that littered his arm.


	2. Chapter 2 - End of the lifeless corridor

"Oh, for fucks sake!" The man growled.

He stomped towards the purple haired boy that he called Kansei, and ripped the knife out of his hands.

"Taking all the paper and stationery wasn't enough for you?!" He grabbed onto Kansei's uninjured hand harshly, and pulled him out, ignoring the whimper of pain the boy let out.

Midoriya couldn't help but stare at the cuts on Kansei's arm. The blood had been wiped off, but the cuts were starting to bleed out again, and they were too strategically placed for it to be just random cuttings.

"Just stay here and don't move until I come back, brat!" The man spat.

He tilted his head as the man dragged Kansei out of the room, eyes glued onto the boy's arm.

_Shinsou Hitoshi._

He could barely make out the last hiragana.

But he couldn't stop the thoughts that were running through his mind.

It was clearly a name.

Someone's name. The man said they called him Kansei. Were the words carved into his arm the boy's real name? Or was it someone else's name?

Midoriya didn't know anymore. Why would he hurt himself?! Why would he carve a name into his own flesh?!

And most importantly, why did he have a muzzle?!

Midoriya so desperately wanted to rip the thing off the poor boy's face. He couldn't even open his mouth with that damned thing on.

He hoped that the boy they called Kansei was eating properly.

He committed the hiragana characters to memory. It was clearly important to him, so he would remember it. No matter what those hiragana characters meant.

Midoriya sat down on the floor, unsure of which bed was the one that belonged to the other boy.

The door clicked open, and the man shoved Kansei back into the room. The boy flailed, slamming into the ground, and hissed as he rubbed his arm that was now covered in bandages.

"Behave. Dinner is in half an hour. Kansei, mess up one more time, and you won't like it."

He slammed the door, and the first thing Midoriya did was to rush over to the boy's side.

"Are you okay?"

The boy just glared at him, and growled. He attempted to say something, but the muzzle prevented him from even opening his mouth. He grabbed the muzzle, and tried to pull it off his face, but it seemed to hurt him as he did so.

"Hey stop! You'll hurt yourself!" Midoriya grabbed the boy's hands, pulling them away from the muzzle. "It should have a buckle. Turn around. I'll help you get it off."

The boy looked at him, confusion in his eyes, and he looked around the room. The room was completely barren, with just the two tables and beds. There weren't any chairs, books, paper, anything at all.

The boy let out another growl, and stared at his palm. He dragged his nails across his palm, and Midoriya instantly panicked. "Stop it! Stop hurting yourself!"

The boy just hissed at him, and Midoriya noticed that it seemed like he was trying to write something on his palm with his nails.

"Stop! Hold on!" Midoriya yelped, before hesitantly sticking out his palm.

"Trace it."

The boy looked at him in confusion, before carefully reaching out to grab Midoriya's hand. Midoriya twitched at the contact, and the boy flinched, looking up at Midoriya.

"Go on." Midoriya coaxed him, and the boy gently traced a word on his palm.

Quirk.

"Eh ... the man… already told me about it…."

The boy just stared at him in bewilderment, before tracing a few more words.

Brainwash. Why no muzzle?

"Eh!?" Midoriya blinked, "You don't deserve to have it! You should be allowed to speak! It doesn't matter what your quirk is! It's inhumane!"

The boy just looked at him blankly. He didn't even react when Midoriya walked around him, and started fiddling with the restraints on the muzzle.

"Hold on…. It's really tight…. Give me a…. SORRY!" Midoriya yelped, as he accidentally tugged too hard on one of the straps, hearing the boy let out a whimper in pain.

He finally loosened the restraints, and gently peeled the muzzle off the boy's face. He winced as he eyed the red skin around the boy's mouth, and the boy covered his mouth and coughed.

_It's so tight!_ Midoriya thought. _That's horrible!_

The boy gasped for breath, and panted, sitting down on the floor as Midoriya held the muzzle in his hands.

"...why?" He wheezed, as he tried to catch his breath.

"Why what?" Midoriya cocked his head in confusion.

"Why do you want to help me? What ulterior motives to you have?"

Midoriya just blinked, "Eh? Why would I want anything?"

The boy just looked at him in disbelief.

"People don't help people for no reason!" The boy spat angrily, "People always want something. Nobody does anything out of the goodness of their hearts. Not villains, not people, and definately not heroes. Heroes are heroes just for the money and fame. So what do you want from me?"

Midoriya just stared at him in shock.

"I don't want anything from you!" Midoriya blurted out, "I... I just thought you had something you wanted to say and this thing looked really uncomfortable and I don't even know why you need to wear the thing cause you seem like a really nice person but you're just scared and I'm sorry I'm rambling again and..."

The boy just gaped at Midoriya as he kept speaking, faster and faster, trying to process what he was saying. He put his hands on his head like had was having a headache, trying to process what Midoriya was trying to say.

"Are... you okay??" Midoriya asked again, seeing the boy look at him with a pained expression on his face.

"I'm... fine..." He sighed.

"Let's start over, okay?" Midoriya grinned at him, and stuck his hand out, "Midoriya Izuku."

The boy hesitantly stuck his hand out, "My name is... "

He blinked, "My name... shit... I let down my guard..."

He had a haunted expression on his face, as he shut his eyes and tried to remember, shaking the entire time.

"Is it Kansei?" Midoriya reached his hand out, trying to comfort him, but the boy just smacked his hand away and hissed, "Don't call me that! That's not my name. It will never be my name!"

He rubbed his bandaged arm absentmindedly, eyes flickering around as his breathing grew erratic in his panic, "No.. no...no... I can't forget... I can't-"

"Is it Shinsou Hitoshi?" Midoriya asked. Kansei wasn't his name, and clearly there was something going on if he was forgetting his own name.

He froze, and relaxed, as Midoriya hesitantly got closer to him. He exhaled, and sighed, "My...name... That's my name... I can't forget... Shinsou Hitoshi... "

Shinsou looked up, at Midoriya's worried face, and said, "Midoruya Izuku, right? Remember you name... don't ever forget it. Once you forget, you lose."

"Lose what?" Midoriya asked, as he mentally repeated his own name over and over.

Shinsou was about to reply, when a loud shout for dinner rang out. He panicked, and grabbed the muzzle from Midoriya.

"Ehh?! Shinsou!?"

"I'll explain later! Help me put it back on. They'll punish us both if they realise we took it off! Just act like I keep ignoring you or something." He hissed, as Midoriya fiddled clumsily with the straps, securing it on Shinsou's face, ensuring that it was tight, but not too tight that it was horribly uncomfortable.

Shinsou gave a small whine and shook his head after the muzzle was secure, before he opened the door carefully.

Midoriya followed Shinsou out of the room, looking at the other kids who shared the same hallway as them.

Male, female, teenagers, kids. Midoriya noticed that one was missing a finger. Another one kept walking into walls. The third had eyes all over her body. The fourth was staring at Shinsou creepily, but Shinsou just glared back at him angrily.

"Sorry!" A taller, teenaged male pushed Shinsou over, and he fell to the ground. His muzzle hit the ground with a loud bang, and Shinsou pushed himself up, hands pressed against the vile contraption like he wanted to rip it off to rub his sore skin.

Midoriya rushed over to help him up, but Shinsou just pushed him away harshly, though Midoriya could tell from his expression that Shinsou was sorry for his actions, but was trying to keep up the act.

"Hey, new kid, right?" He grinned, fangs showing, "Don't get too close to Kansei. He's crazy, that one. I heard he bit someone's finger off, so he has to wear that thing." He laughed, and pat Midoriya's head patronisingly, before running off.

Midoriya immediately focused on the girl who was missing a finger, and looked at Shinsou questioningly. He just shook his head, and gestured with his head in the direction that everyone else had gone to.


	3. Chapter 3 - Is a room, Inside which

Midoriya blankly followed Shinsou and the rest of the kids past several hallways that opened up into a large room.

Midoriya could immediately tell there was a stark difference between the kids who shared their hallway and those who lived just beyond the entrance to the orphanage. The children who lived with them seemed to be... off. They stared into space, barely said a word, just looked blankly at the other kids who chased each other and screamed.

The man appeared out of nowhere, and grabbed Midoriya by the arm, and dragged him out of the room. Midoriya gave a squeak in alarm, and turned to Shinsou. Shinsou just looked at him, and subtly pointed to his head, the message he wanted to send to Midoriya obvious.

Remember your name.

"Okay, your name is Kyosei, got it, brat?"

Midoriya nodded, and almost immediately, his head felt fuzzy.

Midoriya Izuku.

_My name Midoriya Izuku._

_..._

_My name is... Kyosei?_

_Mido..riya ...Izuku?_

He tried to remember Bakugou Katsuki, the one who dubbed him Deku.

He could barely remember him.

He tried to remember his mother, her long, green hair, her kind expression...

He couldn't even recall her face.

He tried to grab hold of the last thing few things he could remember.

Shinsou Hitoshi. That's his name. His real name. Not Kansei. My real name is Izuku.

"Good boy." The man dragged him back into the dining hall, and called out, "Attention, please. This is Kyosei. He will be joining us starting today."

Midoriya's head was feeling fuzzy again, and he shook it lightly.

_Midoriya...?_

_What's my first name?_

_Not Kyosei. I'm not Kyosei._

The man let Midoriya go, and he trudged to Shinsou's side miserably, trying to remember something at his very core that he knew he shouldn't forget.

_Why am I forgetting?_

He sat down next to Shinsou at one of the tables furthest away from the man, and Shinsou grabbed his arm reassuringly.

"Oi, Kyosei, go sit with the others." The man grabbed Midoriya by the back of his shirt, and he yelped as he was dragged away from the purple haired boy.

"Kansei, you know very well why you have to sit alone, don't you?" He chuckled, and undid the muzzle around Shinsou's face, "I really ought to punish you for your behaviour today, but I'll give you a chance, seeing as Kyosei seems to really like you for some reason. Maybe you're coming around already."

Shinsou gave a growl as the man dragged Midoriya away, and gestured at the food, and shook his head harshly.

Midoriya stared at his mashed potatoes, and hesitantly took a bite. Immediately, he felt like his head was on fire, and he held back to urge to throw up. He glanced subtly, and watched as Shinsou pretended to eat, but instead just dumped the contents of his plate out the window when no one else was looking.

But his mother said that wasting food was bad. No matter what she gave him, he would always finish it. It didn't matter if it was rotten or mouldy, or smelt horrible, or if he couldn't even tell what kind of food it was in the first place. He always finished it, despite getting horrible stomach aches and throwing up, all in hopes that his mother would love him if he did everything she said.

He forced every last bite into his mouth, his head pounding like someone was in there with a sledgehammer, until finally, his plate was scraped clean.

He pushed his chair backwards, the urge to throw everything up stronger than ever, and mumbled, "I'm done."

The man just gave him a lazy sigh, and told him to put his plate in the sink and go back to his room.

Midoriya raced to the kitchen, and threw his plate into the sink, before walking nauseous out of the dinning area, where he found the man putting Shinsou's muzzle back on, ignoring the whimpers of the smaller boy as he tugged on the straps and restraints way too harshly.

But Midoriya didn't want to throw up all over the floor, and he asked, "Where... where's the bathroom?"

"Go out, turn left, down two hallways." The man lazily answered, and with one more harsh tug, deemed the muzzle tight enough and let Shinsou leave the dining room, even though the boy was trying to do anything in his power to loosen the muzzle.

* * *

Shinsou finally got used to the muzzle, and by the time his face stopped stinging with pain, Midoriya was already gone.

Shinsou raced down the hallway, looking for the green haired boy. He turned in the direction of the bathroom, and heard the sounds of retching.

He ran to the bathroom, and found Midoriya throwing up in one of the stalls. He stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do, and squatted down to pat the smaller boy's back.

"I... Shin...sou?" The smaller boy coughed out, wiping his mouth with his arm, before he puked out the contents of his stomach again. Shinsou couldn't say a thing, and waited until Midoriya was done before he helped the smaller boy clean up.

He gently led the boy back to the room, winding through all the hallways and corridors, as Midoriya weakly following behind him. Shinsou slammed the door, and pulled out a clean shirt and a pair of pants from under his mattress, and shoved it at Midoriya, gesturing at him to change.

"So... do we get to shower?" Midoriya asked, as he undid the muzzle around Shinsou's mouth. He fiddled with the hem of Shinsou's shirt, as he looked at the purple haired boy.

"Yeah. At around nine. That's in around an hour." Shinsou replied, as he left the offending contraption hanging around his neck limply. He passed over a bottle of water, and Midoriya downed the contents of the bottle greedily.

"Where did you get that from?"

"Stole it from the kitchen." Shinsou sighed.

"So... you wanna spill now?"

"No. Kids pop in and out all the time. I'll tell you when everyone's asleep." Shinsou hissed, "And why did you eat all of it? I told you not to!"

Midoriya just let out a whimper, "I'm sorry... I just... my mom always told me to finish my food regardless of what it was... I just did it... hoping she'll still love me..."

Shinsou immediately felt guilty for his attitude towards the smaller boy.

Midoriya shook his head. His head felt like it was filled with lead, and he blinked, trying to stay awake.

"What do you mean, hoping she will still love you?"

"I...dunno..." Midoriya slurred, his eyes becoming unfocused and hazy.

Shinsou bit back a curse.

"Do.. you... remember your name?"

"It's... uh..."

Midoriya's head shot up in his panic, as he desperately sieved through the thoughts swirling around his head. "It's... uh... uh... how can I forget..."

"Midoriya."

He was immediately grounded by two hands placed on his shoulders, and he looked up to find Shinsou standing in front of him, looking down on him.

"Breathe. You're Midoriya Izuku. That's your name. Apparently, we can remember each other's names easier than our own."

Midoriya tried to calm his beating heart, and let out a small whine as he felt the memories that he couldn't access previously flow back into his mind.

He felt himself tear up.

_Why am I forgetting? Why am I forgetting my name? My mother? Kacchan? Auntie Mitsuki? Uncle Masaru?_

_Why why why why!?_

_This shouldn't be happening!_

_I don't understand!_

"Shinsou… what's going on?" Midoriya pleaded as he wiped the tears away from his eyes, and looked up at the purple haired boy.

Shinsou just stood up and glared at him, "I said later. It's too risky now. But this is a game we can't afford to lose."

"What is this game?" Midoriya asked desperately, shaking as he clutched at Shinsou's sleeve, "What -"

"Bath time!"

Shinsou shoved his hand over Midoriya's mouth and pulled the muzzle back over his face.

"Shh. I said later." He hissed back, and fumbled with the restraints of the muzzle, before he dragged Midoriya out of the room.

* * *

Midoriya was shaking as he pulled a clean shirt over his clean body. His hair was still wet, and the man threw a towel at him, yelling at him to dry his hair before sleeping.

Shinsou was already brushing his teeth under the watchful eye of the man, having already rubbed his fluffy purple hair down. He wiped his mouth, and the man pulled him by the collar harshly.

Shinsou growled at the sudden movement, and snapped his teeth down, but the man released him before he could get his fingers bitten, before securing the muzzle around Shinsou's head like they had done this millions of times before.

"You really don't learn, do you?" The man clicked his tongue, "It's not gonna work, Kensei. Just give up, won't ya?"

Shinsou just growled even more behind the muzzle, and the man just dumped him to the floor.

"You guys know the drill. Thirty minutes, lights out. Anyone whose lights are still on after that, if I find you, you're dead."

Midoriya froze up at the word, stunned, and Shinsou had no choice but to drag the dumbfounded boy back to the room.

He slammed the door, and sat down on his bed, and struggled to undo the restraints on his own as Midoriya turned around, trembling, pointing a finger at the door hesitantly.

"He was joking… right? Shinsou… please… he's not really going to kill anyone -"

Shinsou shook his head solemnly.

Midoriya staggered over, helping the boy take off the muzzle despite his shaking hands, his fingers trembling as he loosened the strap.

"But he's just trying to scare us, right? He's just trying to play, have some fun… make us more likely to listen -"

"He's not joking."

Midoriya froze up, his eyes wide open in shock, as Shinsou turned to face the green haired boy.

"They will kill anyone to ensure that the truth about this place is kept hidden from the world."


End file.
